Cat invasion

My parents feed this load of street cats that were born in their garden... They just swarm up the steps for food twice a day!!!

Hugo made this cake at school

The famous Castañada finally over... and many people congratulating me for the leaves & twigs deco I'd made... The school directress actually came up to me to say that after the party is over, they'll "hang the long cascades of leaves in the Library, so they can be seen for a while, as they're so... fragile, beautiful..." :D

After the two job interviews in the morning, I dashed back to his school by 2 pm and stayed until about 6, helping coordinate, cut and arrange all the homemade bakery and traditional autumn food parents bring over every year for this special teaparty. Think that you get maybe 6 or 8 cakes, but to distribute among 260 kids!!! and also other food, little bits, nuts, raisins, chestnuts we had to wrap in the traditional cucurucho so the chestnut lady (castanyera) could pass by every kid and hand them a bunch of chestnuts... Phew!!!

Special mention to some small chestnut-based cakes a japanese mother brought!!!!!!! Really delicious!!!!!!

When it was all over, the kids went back to their classes -while the cleaning team of parents helped getting everything tidy again and rearrange the centre table to let the parents who are coming to pick their children by then have a bite at some stuff too. And the children come back down, grinning with their own culinary efforts: the smaller ones made biscuits, the bigger ones made sponge cakes, as the one Hugo made and we're going to share with my parents tonight!!!

Shall tell you how it tasted tomorrow ;)

Autumn shadows

Long coats, boots, winter sturdy handbags you can't use in summer... yeah, it's back!

Tomb bus

Lujo asiático? kitsch? ...Tomb Bus!

Hacía tiempo que no lo cogía.

En Barcelona hay una línea de autobuses -no sé si hay más de un recorrido ahora- llamada TOMB BUS. Autobuses urbanos que conectan varios centros comerciales de zona bien (La Illa, Pedralbes Center, otro que ni recuerdo porque yo esas cosas no las uso) y pasan por la Diagonal y bajan a Plaza Catalunya... No se pueden utilizar con las tarjetas de transporte habituales, pero el billete cuesta 1,35 euros actualmente y es una especie de autobús de lujo, con asientos realmente cómodos de ante y cuero color crudo, detalles de madera pulida, mucho espacio entre los asientos, iluminación indirecta a base de lámparas en cuanto empieza a anochecer... una cosa pija/kitsch pero realmente muy cómoda y desestresante.

Obviamente, no suelen ir llenos. Los usuarios suelen ser hombres de negocios o señoras bien que han ido de shopping -como pone en el lado del bus!!!- y se ahorran el taxi pero no tienen que mezclarse con la plebe en un bus normal o (horror) metro. Entre eso y los pocos asientos que tienen de todas formas, se disfruta un silencio refinado tipo museo o sala de teatro... y antes había buena música ambiental pero hoy no la había.

Pregunta #1: ¿Por qué lo solía coger?

>Porque durante unos años estuve dando clases
en Chupachups, en el precioso edificio de la Banca Catalana
(ahora de no-sé-quién), rodeado de ventanales y jardines colgantes... en
plena Diagonal, y me era más cómodo coger este autobús para ir de ahí a mi
siguiente clase (para llegar a la clase por la mañana, iba en metro a toda
prisa).

>Porque en esa época, me encantaba llamar la atención, a
los veintipocos años, y si no era suficiente ya entrar en el edificio
con pase de seguridad y con mi mini de plástico y medias rojas rotas, pues luego
coger el bus pijo y relajarme leyendo a Platón en un silloncito mullido en
lugar de apretujones y olores varios en el metro, ya me iba bien, ya...

>Porque era más cómodo, y yo solía salir desayunada (me
solía invitar mi alumno) pero cansada, y a la vez con ganas de mimitos tras
el madrugón y pocas horas de sueño. Era o eso o el taxi...

Pregunta #2: ¿Por qué hace tanto tiempo que no lo utilizo?

>Porque no voy tanto por esa zona
>Porque ahora voy entre la plebe, con
mi tarjeta de 70 viajes, en autobús normal, si tengo que ir por esa
zona
>Porque, sencillamente, no se me ocurre cuando tengo que ir por ahí
arriba...

Pregunta #3: ¿Por qué lo he cogido hoy?

>Porque fui a una segunda entrevista de trabajo como Asistente de
Dirección en un prestigioso despacho de abogados internacional, en
Diagonal
>Porque ya iba vestida para la ocasión, y así me metía más en mi
papel
>Porque me estaba esperando un amigo en el ciber y pasó antes éste
que los otros, y
>Porque me apetecía una pequeña dosis de lujo y relax
autosuficiente, tras ver que si la primera entrevista había sido muy buena, ésta
segunda fue cruelmente cortante. Necesitaba los mimos y protección del exterior
duro y frío que recordaba del Tomb Bus, allá por el 91...?

...Finalmente, me encanta el juego que genera su nombre al leerlo un inglés,suena tan goth... Así que en homenaje interior a Nate y nuestras coñas habituales de quedar en el 'Three Tombs' (pronunciando a la inglesa els 3 tombs, convertido así en las tres tumbas)... cogí el bus de la tumba!!!

Hojas

La foto no es muy buena, no refleja realmente el efecto... intentaré hacer una mejor cuando los moviles estén colgados en su sitio.

Hace un par de días, en mi intento de adaptarme a la vida de madre sin trabajo, o sea, que dedico más tiempo no sólo a mi hijo sino también a su colegio (voluntaria en el AMPA, ayudando a organizar fiestas, actividades, apoyo en la oficina...) me empeciné en que para la castañada se debía decorar el espacio en que se iba a hacer la merienda-castañada. Por lo visto, habitualmente no lo hacían. Sólo se decoraba para las fiestas grandes, Navidad y Fin De Curso.

Como insistí varias veces en que yo, comida no pondría, pero estaría dispuesta a ayudar a coordinar, decorar, colocar las mesas, recoger y limpiar... pues el martes me llamaron diciendo que habían dos personas dispuestas a hacer centros de mesa, pero que me pasara a controlar. Al final, los centros salieron muy bien, mucho mejor que otros años, y yo me dediqué (unas 2 horas) a hacer móviles con hojas secas y ramas que había estado recogiendo. Al principio tenía un poco de miedo a que no fueran aceptados, porque los primeros comentarios fueron negativos: "A lo mejor no se podrán colgar, van a molestar" (hay una zona, donde pensaba ponerlos, con gran altura) "Si se van a romper en cuanto pasen los niños por delante" (Pues eso, colgarlos por encima de su nivel...) "Esas hojas se pudrirán antes del viernes" (eerrrrrrrmmmm... la biología y la botánica no son lo suyo, digo yo). Pero fui haciendo, me quedé sola y tranki, y dejé colgados en el despacho los tres móviles principales, de 1,80 m de largo o más (lo sé porque son más largos que yo, tengo que levantar los brazos para que no arrastren...)

La respuesta no se hizo esperar. A la mañana siguiente, vi un email del foro del AMPA, con el título 'MÓVILES' y pensé... ya está, a alguien le molestó que los pusiera ahí... o creen que he estado trabajando con hojas que tienen bichitos... como dijo alguien al principio. No. Era para felicitarme por el resultado.

Desde ese momento, varias personas y varios emails igual, sorprendidos de que unas hojas y unas ramas, asimétricamente colocadas, puedan dar este resultado.

O.k., les sigo dando un voto de confianza pues ;)

Auxiliar de Comercio Exterior

...Ya que me buscan por mi afinidad con Lenny Kravitz... a ver si me sale un currillo gracias a San Google Bendito :P

Aunque si se ponen a leer mi blog, no sé yo si funcionará la cosa... Y si leen el otro, y miscomentarios sobre las manías de mi ex-jefe... o del anterior o...

Bueno, avancemos. Tras ver la enooooooorme cantidad de cursos de OFIMÁTICA BÁSICA y de INGLÉS (sic) ...he logrado apuntarme a un curso que sí me será útil y me enseñará algo relacionado con lo que ya voy haciendo. No hay mucha sorpresa, si habéis leído el título del post... XD sííí, muy bieeeen: me pasaré todas las mañanas, de 9 a 14:30 y de lunes a viernes, hasta marzo o encontrar un curro, en un curso de Auxiliar de Comercio Exterior.

Así que cambio un poco de táctica. Seguiré yendo a entrevistas por si me sale un buen curro -mañana tengo una como asistente a 2 directores en despacho de abogados internacional- pero por lo demás procuraré volver a las clases particulares de inglés. Era muy buena profesora, y si lo dejé era para tener más estabilidad económica... pero tengo todos mis libros bien guardaditos y de momento, es lo que mejor podría combinar con los estudios...

Así que os aviso, a los que me leáis desde Barcelona:

OKOK DA CLASES DE INGLÉS. SI OS INTERESA, O TENÉIS ALGÚN CONOCID@ QUE ESTÉ PENSANDO EN CLASES PARTICULARES, TENGO MUCHA EXPERIENCIA Y PODEMOS HABLAR DE PRECIOS Y HORARIOS.

Razón: aquí. Dejad un comentario avisando que os interesa, y os contesto.

...De todas formas, empezaré a preparar carteliiiitos... sigh!

Wagner...

I managed to get Laida to look after my son and get to Sidecar , Tuesday night, to see my old, dear friend Wagner and his band, BRAZUCA MATRACA.

So many good times spent with him, sooo many bottles of cheap champagne cava at the University bar, between class Ancient Philosophy and class of Esthetics of the Ugly... How we both turned up at the beguinning of the sales once with exactly the same coat, and had to mark them so we didn't keep getting them mixed up -remember, Mary-Anne? That brownish gabardine I used to wear so much, he had it the same ...from Zara, so cheap those days!!!

So many times helping to drag the stuff for his gigs with the band he had then... Mary-Anne sure remembers that! ;) :P

t'was cool to catch him having dinner just before the gig the other night. We could talk a little, not too much as he was late -as usual- but it was such a close feeling, though we see each other little lately. Sort of bump into each other 2 or 3 times a year, average, and get gossiping and talking and laughing at mutual friends, and updating on stuff... but this year as the Forum fucked up changed the average schedules in Barcelona and there wasn't the three-day festivity Festa de la Diversitat we usually go to, and where he often plays or djs, well... it had been about a year since I last saw him.

He jumped out of his chair and grinned 'Have you come to see me???' and then gave me the news: He's got a child, a baby. 'I'll show you him, we've got to meet and talk, bring Hugo too. Give me your mobile... I was trying to call you for him to be on a video-clip, but couldn't find your number!!!'

-Just trying to imagine Max as a fetus!

So, yesterday, though tired and sleepy, i was with great vibes* after dancing and singing along to his songs... and being able to talk to him again.

____________

*Yes, the temp job interview was ok... but it's only till december... so if I don't get it, there were at least 4 of us for the job, I'm not gonna cry... And, anyway, am starting a course next week :D

Dedicated to Vel

...She knows why ;)

Brazuca Matraca

Posting in a hurry. Might have time later to change it... but have a meeting in 20 minutes...

Am going to see Wagner play tonight*, at Sidecar... his band's last gig in Barcelona this year -see link to his webpage on your left, in my Links list!

The story: I was at a bar with a friend a few weekends ago, and saw this gig advertised. Felt like going, but being a Tuesday thought I'd better forget about it. Then I told Eva about it, so we planned to leave Hugo with her daughter, and go together and then sleep at her place. So: a rush tomorrow morning -her flat is much further away from Hugo's school- and I'll have to take my interview clothes for tomorrow morning -second round for a temp job I'm interested in!!! ;)



______



* P.D.: I really had a good time!

Arrabal.

Estoy leyendo, poco a poco para no mezclar demasiado una con otra, las primeras obras teatrales de Arrabal. De hecho, el primero en mezclarlas es él mismo: en el último acto de una de las obras, salen tres personajes discutiendo cómo habían sido exactamente los últimos hechos... ¡para ir mezclando al menos tres piezas en sus explicaciones!

Pero bueno, decía: estoy leyendo poco a poco varias obras del 'primer teatro' de Arrabal. Antes del Movimiento Pánico y similares. Sus personajes son a veces crispantes, a veces mágicos... y realmente me recuerdan a menudo al Chavo del Ocho y la Chilindrina...

Pero ese infantilismo, y esos juegos repetitivos, de pronto se vuelven amenazadores. Estaba leyendo en concreto Fando y Lis, donde Fando se mueve entre la ternura empalagosa y la ira incontrolada y Lis... pobre, inválida, inexpresiva, dura, manipuladora, apaleada Lis vive a merced de Fando, de sus mimos agridulces, de que la encadene para que le cueste más arrastrarse o bien le toque la canción de la Pluma en el tambor, mientras ella se sienta en el carrito... esperando el nuevo brote de ira.

Y si hay muchos momentos agridulces en esta obra, la sonrisa se me heló especialmente en uno:

LIS: - Siempre me pides que te perdone, pero nunca me haces caso.
FANDO: - Es verdad, qué malo soy contigo... (Pausa)
- Además, siempre me dices que me vas a esposar las manos, como si no tuviera bastante con la cadena.
- No, no te esposaré. (Pausa.)
- Nunca me haces caso. Acuérdate de cómo, a veces, cuando no estaba paralítica, me atabas a la cama y me pegabas con la correa.
- Yo no creía que te molestaba.
- Yo bien te lo decía. ¡Cuántas veces te repetí que casi no podía resistir el dño que me hacías!
- Lis, perdóname. No volveré a atarte a la cama pegarte

How can I be so busy...

...when I'm not working???

• By helping my friends when they are ill or had an accident
• By offering to help those who are packing their stuff to leave this goddamn expensive city
• By wasting spending time at my son's school, helping at the PTA (AMPA) office
• By spending hours at the cyber checking infojobs and other offers elsewhere
• By going to interviews and tests, being passed on to second interviews, and no further
• By blogging about these interviews, or these work efficiency tests, and then losing the post because the pc at this damned cyber goes freaky and erases everything before I can save
• By playing around with both my blogs, and reading endless posts here and there...
• By cleaning and re-decorating my flat, now I have time to do it! hahahaaha, can't lie!!!!!!!!
• By checking silly things as my trackbacks, the updates and comments at Que Buscas QUÉ?! ... by the way, it seems I'm searched by my name, more than once...
  
  
  
  Must remember ;)

Proselitism

Me, a few days ago, sitting at home with a Bodyfriend in his mid-twenties.

Me: I've been obssesively listening to this song lately. Just looping it, and after a few listenings, letting it go and then once I go back to it, loop again...

Him: Lol* Which song is it?

-Candy, by Iggy Pop

-Ô_ò

-...right. 1990-1991. Ok. You don't know it, right?

-nope.

-...and it isn't really your style... [me leaping up and heading to the cd player] but look, I'll play it for you

- lol lol lol haaaahahaha ok, sure. Let's see.

[Iggy' husky voice starts talking:

It's a rainy afternoonIn 1990
The big city
geez it's been 20 years
Candy - you were so fine]

-Yeah lol sounds like you...

-:P

[music starts, Iggy sings the beautiful opening:

Beautiful beautiful
Girl from the north
You burned my heart
With a flickering torch]

-So you're the beautiful girl from the north???!!

-caught me! Hhhhahahaa... Used to dream that, not now though

-LOL

-God! I used to love this song, in 1991, when...

-...you fell in love with Hugo's dad

-yeah. I know. Sorry.

-Well... I used to talk about my girlfr... my ex with you

-...On and on and on... [roll eyes]

-yeah lol

[Candy, Candy, Candy I can't let you go
All my life you're haunting me
I loved you so
Candy, Candy Candy I can't let you go
Life is crazy
Candy baby]

-And show me pictures, of her and her daughter...

-Yeah, yeah, i know...

-Hey, listen to this bit: the girl!!!

[she first tells us, weak with admitting...:
Yeah, well it hurt me real bad when you left
I'm glad you got out
But I miss you

Then her voice goes up to sing:
I've had a hole in my heart for so long
I've learned to fake it and just smile along

Down on the street
Those men are all the same
I need a love
Not games
Not games]

-[rolling eyes] Right... I know

... Iggy on the background, we're talking about our stuff. His problems with his permits, my useless jobsearch. Got talking about why I don't really want to go back into teaching English

-So I just can't put up with the stress of having sooo many 'bosses'. The students, their parents, the language school director, the adult school directress, everyone seemed to have a different point of view on how I was supposed to be teaching!!!

-But you liked it, and you're a good teacher

-yeah, but can't cope with the 9-month contracts and the no-work-no-pay policy at language schools!!! Once I got used to office work, i treasure being able to call sick some day, instead of staggering to class with no voice and teaching by signs...

-Lol!

-True, and then Xmas comes, or Easter, or Summer, and instead of extra cash I had NONE!!!!!!

-Right, you told me...

-And working for such bastards sometimes... remember I told you about the one who kept going on against me, 'coz my hair was "too long to be a teacher", and then he was in the news for child molesting???!!

-Really?!

-That's the only place I walked out from causing trouble: the second year there, in June I said they could count on me for September... then I got a better job, but pretended I'd go, let them think I'd be there on September 15th, and phoned 2 hours before starting to say I had a better offer

-LOL!

-[singing]I left that bastard burning And I never went back

-? ...WHAT????

-The Cure hahahaha

-?

-...

-AAhhhhh! Yeah, those guys you like...

-Yes. I don't listen to them that much, but my mobile tone is still theirs... they used to be my main soundtrack for so long, I have them in my mind quite often

-I've never heard the Cure -what are they like?
-Look [leaping up and heading to the cassettes] , I'll play the one I was joking about: Hot Hot Hot

-Cool

-Wait, let's see if I catch it...

[You know with tapes: try and catch a song, rewind, listen, rewind, listen, FF... All this with your friend laughing at you]
-Yeah, modern technology. Fast Forward, rewind...

-I don't even know how to use an Ipod and stuff like that, I'm old!!!!!!
-Yeah, poor old granny...

-YESSSSSS!!! THIS ONE [:D]

[Hot Hot Hot starts playing...]

-I thought it was more depressing...

-Well, yeah, most of their songs were more typical goth... then there were these funny ones [half an hour talking about The Cure, the Smiths, looking for a few of my goth photos left...]

________

*Hey, he spends so much time chatting and sms-ing, and he is sooo used to lol, that he actually laughs out loud LOL!!!!!! -or just about :P

******It had been such a long time since I'd made love listening to The Cure!!!!!!********

UPDATE: I got a chance to learn about his background too !

Little things that make you smile

• Rushing past an open window, with really bad memories going through your mind, and suddenly hearing Alaska's "Rey del Glam"
• Wasting time, walking in the alleys half an hour before collecting your son, you bump into someone you really loved and admired, and you hadn't seen for ages, and spend that half hour chatting with her just there, that exact point
• Being able to talk to a friend over the telephone, both of you in a bad situation, both initially really pissed off... and ending up laughing out loud!!!!
• When suddenly someone you really wished to chat with turns up on your screen...
• When you catch the eye of someone laughing at the same situation you were grinning at...

...to be continued?

Squat

Yesterday evening I went to a squat near my son's school, to start learning puppet making... I've only made paper/cardboard puppets, and ofcourse easy glove puppets (socks, felt, etc) but this girl is teaching how to make foam puppets. The ones she makes are beautiful, great characters.

I went with Hugo, so this was his first experience at a squat. With his background, he adapts to most adults/semiadults, so that's no problem, though he was deeply intrigued by the building itself, and all the youngsters passing by, and the deco...

I told him a bit about the squat movement, the idea behind it -yeah, Joan would be pissing himself if he heard me telling him about globalization and how Real Estate owners prefer to keep a building empty and unused to let people use it, while repairing it and giving it social uses too...

Then I started telling him about Can Bardina, and the friends I had there, how I used to hang out there in the late 80s, together with various people who are now more-or-less well known artists: djs of local fame, catalan poets who make the news, musicians, dancers...

Yeah, it feels good to get back among young squatters... even if it's once a week, for a workshop!

Dizzy

Have been fighting against a migrain for three days now. So far, I'm winning -it hasn't quite become a migraine, but am feeling a headache buzzing around all the time, and my stomach is quite unsettled so I can't eat much.

My luck, am supposed to meet someone in half an hour, to invite me to a meal and chat a while, and then I have a sort of test- interview for a temp job in a company I'd like to work at, so I'd accept a 3 month job and then see what is going on around there...

But by taking painkillers and eating very little for the last three days, am realizing my head is spinning every now and then, have felt a bit dizzy and actually lost a bit of balance, sort of head swaying to one side or so, a couple of times while here, at the cyber.

Not the best way to turn up for an effectivity test, right?

And better not tell them I tend to have migraines, or I can forget about the job!!!!!!!!!!

Ineptitud.

Estoy harta de la gente que cree saber mejor que yo lo que debo hacer.

No es tan fácil mantener a un hijo con un único sueldo, y menos el de una mujer (sic), eso contando con que a mi tierna edad de 36, con licenciatura de letras "inútil" y con restricciones en la adaptabilidad a horarios (no puedo empezar a trabajar antes de las 9) y en la posibilidad de viajar (sí, pero con aviso previo y organizando el cuidado de mi hijo...) logre encontrar un nuevo trabajo.

Ahora, con mi hermoso paro de 750 euros al mes (más de lo que me ofrecen por currar 8 horas al día en muchas oficinas, por cierto), no logro cubrir mis gastos mensuales... y el préstamo del banco ya me lo he comido y bebido.

-Qué caros son los whiskey&Red Bull, cohones...-

Bueno, resumiendo, que me he quedado sin pasta antes de lo planeado.

NO entiendo cómo Catalunya se vanagloria de ser tan Europea, cuando a pesar de insistir en campañas para que produzcamos más Catalanets, no ofrecen ayuda institucionalizada a las madres solteras familias monoparentales. Según un estudio en el que colaboré en mi época más combativa, Ep·paña e Italia son los dos únicos países de la CEE que no contemplan una ayuda específica para las familias monoparentales.


Está claro que, tal y como está el panorama sentimental occidental, el modelo de familia tradicional ya no existe para un gran número de ciudadanos, y el matrimonio sólo está de moda entre homosexuales (la novedad) y las parejitas de barrio que encima de vivir con los padres en su ciudad-satélite hasta casarse, logran un piso de protección oficial y comen perdices... A mí me dijeron, cuando me fui a informar acerca de estas viviendas (antes de pasar del fatídico 35!!!) que cobraba demasiado poco dinero como para acceder a una vivienda protegida. Tócame los cojones y baila la muñeira, nen! Vaaaale, era en la época de Pujolet, pero no me ha ayudado nada mi amado Pasqui, que mira que lo voto siempre pero sigo sin beca para el niño.

Lo que tienen que hacer es dejarse de hostias, y equiparar los derechos de viudedad en parejas de hecho, o incluso evitar que haga falta haber vivido con alguien antes para que el Estado Protector haga eso, protegerte. Papi, dame algo. Sí, ya, la respuesta es: denuncia al padre de tu hijo por no pagarte lo estipulado por la jueza... pero señores, ese caballero es yonki, no tiene nada a su nombre y sí mucha mala leche, y como que no me va a pagar nada si yo sigo pasando de él, y como que no me apetece enfurecerle de nuevo y que me ataque con una nueva andanada de llamadas/amenaza... Gracias, papito, así que es normal que el estado te proporcione un dinerito mínimo si has sido buen niño y has trabajado cotizando en la S.S. o si estás enfermito, es normal que se te pague (siempre, de nuevo, mientras cotices en la S.S.) pero si te has enamorado de la persona equivocada y te has decidido a aumentar la tasa de natalidad, como piden sus campañas... pues entonces no hay necesidad de ayudar a esa despendolada. Qué equivocados están los ingleses, franceses, alemanes... si tienen morro para quedarse preñadas, que se busquen otro señor que las mantenga!! Total son todas iguales: Unas Putas!!!!

Como mucho, son esposas de mandatarios...

JOoooOooder, qué descargada me siento :D Toooodo esto viene a cuento de una noticia que leí a través de un link de un blog que... vaaaaale, ya sé que estoy revisando ofertas en Infojobs, pero... Bueno, que al menos no nos gobiernan Berlusconi y su panda de coleguis:
Rocco Buttiglione asegura que 'los niños que no tienen un padre son hijos de una madre no muy buena'

Apa, de vuelta a Infojobs

Fancy rice?

Was browsing through The New York Times' digital edition and found this great headline:Looks Like Diversity, but It Tastes Like Tuna*. It talks about the supposedly ethnic restaurants' menus, as opposed to the real stuff once you're in Vietnam, India or whatever.

Quote:

"All you need are some different condiments, some different lighting and a different-looking menu, and people think they're having a different meal," said Mitchell Davis, a cookbook writer who teaches in New York University's department of nutrition, food studies and public health. "They're not, because they really want to be eating the same things: steak, cod and tuna tartare."

I have heard this from many friends who do travel, or are from different continents. I know it myself as the African Restaurants I've visited -Senegalese, mainly- have little to offer compared to my friends', some of whom are excelent cooks and have even published ethnic-oriented cookery books ;)

AAAAAHHH, and the (in)famous instant noodles sent by dozens to our Korean connection from his headquarters... way too spicy even for my asian friends, after jumping onto the bucket-styled packs I'd have given!!!!!!!! Still remember Mami pouring more and more boiling water into the bucket, to make it edible!!!!!!!

______

*If you want to read it, or any other suscriber-only stuff, try BugMeNot.com ;)

Long wait

Money is running down. Am getting quite desperate for a new job now, either that or some fill-in task such as bartending cash-in-hand stuff, whatever to help me pay aaaaaaaallll those bills I have monthly.


Haven't had an interview for two weeks, I think. It's maddening, worse than being rejected after the interview. Of course, there are many jobs I turn down -many 'coz they pay less than the benefit I'm getting from the State right now, so I could never manage with that sort of wage...

Note to self: Do Not Be Too Honest At Interviews

Mistake

Was walking with my son yesterday afternoon, when suddenly I was shocked by this voice shouting

"¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡LEEEEEEEEE-NNNNNNIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I first thought it must be one of the squatters from the 'hood, or some performer rehearsing his new stuff... so i turned round to see what was going on, but saw no bolshevik-looking citizen in the whole street -not even slightly left-winged, besides me!

Guessing I was just making things up again, and not daring to ask Hugo in case I have to explain him the whole story about Russia and its revolution... I just walked on, to be startled again by

"¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡LEEEEEEEEE-NNNNNNIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡AHOOOOOORA MISMOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

This was weird. I turned again, saw nothing I could relate to this communist paroxysm, and started to worry about my sanity, wondering wheter some inhebriated activist, influenced by Zaratustra's analogy, was searching for Vladimir with a torch in the middle of Sant Pere Mitja street -at least it would be hard for Lenin to hide in this small, narrow place...

Was still musing over this when I heard again

"¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡LEEEEEEEEE-NNNNNNIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

This time I was ready: I buzzed round, half-way though the 'IIIIIINNNNN' bit, just to be deafened for 5 minutes by ths south-american woman rushing past me and yelling

"¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!! ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡UN COOOOOOOOCCHHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hey, this isn't serious! How can you ask Lenin for a car????!!!!! O.k., Janis may have asked God for a Mercedes Benz, but I never knew Lenin also performed miracles...

Still deaf, and wondering which syncretic church she may attend, I saw her bend over and pick up this 4-year-old kid, The Lenin she was chasing... who was happily playing with my son's skateboard all the time, reason why Hugo hadn't interrupted me and brought me back to Planet Earth.

So. Wrong again.

Hugo: Conciencia Crítica

Desde que empezó a mantener conversaciones mínimamente comprensibles conmigo, le entrené en el arte de buscar las mentiras o medias verdades en los anuncios.

Comenzamos obviamente con los de juguetes, tras darse cuenta él mismo de que el supuesto
megamuñeco que aparecía en la pantalla era el mismo que tenía él en las manos...

Pero la cosa siguió y siguió, y cada vez hay más crítica ante la televisión... anuncios, series, noticias... yo lo doy por sentado, porque he vivido con ello y me siento parcialmente responsable de ello, pero cuando estamos en presencia de terceras personas (y, por lo tanto, él se esfuerza en hallar aún más 'mentiras' para lucirse más)... empiezo a pensar que he creado un monstruo!!! Porque, claro, sus críticas a menudo son correctas, y dan en el clavo, pero otras veces son hilarantes porque se basan en malos entendidos suyos, y hay que explicárselo todo de nuevo, y no se siente muy convencido...

Y se va expandiendo, Hugo critica el mercantilismo o simplismo de los anuncios en vallas o paneles... haciendo que la gente se gire a ver quién es ese crío que hace sesudos discursos acerca de por qué han puesto 'una señora en tetas con el yogur' y similares... desde el punto de vista de un niño de 9 años ;)

Lo cual me recuerda mi propia infancia y mi 'técnica de mareo': sentarme en el sofá, contra el respaldo, bien recta, y ponerme a imaginar el universo expandiéndose... y más galaxias... y más... hasta que me adentraba en mis pensamientos y perdía la noción del tiempo (más o menos a la misma edad que tiene Hugo ahora)

First time on my own at the PTA office

I already said I'd volunteered to spend 4 hours a week at the Parents' Association office, at my son's school, until I get some work...

Well, ever since I've had a few unexpected meetings I've been dragged to -at 9:30 in the morning, or at 4:30 when collecting my son- and have been handed a load of names but not who they are or what am supposed to do with them. Only good thing so far had been that I got to talk quite a lot to another mother I would have never met, who is just as pissed off as me due to the lack of commitment from the parents who are supposed to be running the PTA, who seem to want to be the Holy Saints Who Do Everything, cry for support and then never turn up to give you the minimum info you'll need.

Am staying only Thursdays 4:30-6:30, in the end, and extra moments to help preparing festivals, deco, food for parties, etc... but have also been an afternoon counting out plastic cups and plates for the next party -La Castanyada- and terribly exciting stuff like that.

Last night I got a phonecall from one of the mothers who run the PTA, and we'd agreed to meet this morning, to get my set of keys, info, etc so I can start properly next week. Ha! I was there from 9:30 'till about 12:30 or so!!!!!!!!!! Re-organized files in the computer, made new lists with phones, timetables... and helped pack a load of books to return to the editors! This was specially good: I had a good laugh with the janitor, a young, intelligent, cool guy I talk to sometimes, and now we were just making fun at the way things worked (or didn't) at the PTA office.

To my horror, when the other woman left and asked me to finish off what she had started -by the way, the only box wrongly marked was the one she'd done ;)!- the school Head came to ask me if there was a Theatre workshop today. I just stared at her blankly, and said I had no clue: I'd try and find out!!! The phone list proved useless: the person in charge of the Theatre activities had only a landline and wasn't there, the PTA director had his mobile switched off, and the only person I managed to speak to was as lost as me!!! In the end, the Janitor said 'Forget it, we'll just say there's no theatre class today, it's Friday after all and tomorrow Saturday... just forget it! ;)


Talking 'bout theatre: been offered to assist for free to theatre lessons by a guy I know who teaches on Thursdays... as usual, no phone conections so I have to bump into him again to get the exact address... he showed me it once, his ad, but I was in a hurry right then...


So, if there's less posts lately it's because I'm posting quickies at my other blog , or busy busy at my son's school. Not because I found a job yet!

Four roses

Four roses Originally uploaded by okokitsme.

Esta mañana, leyendo una revista, ocurrió lo que -de vez en cuando- me alegra el dí­a.

Normalmente es con Nobel, esta vez Four Roses.

Habí­a un anuncio en la contraportada que me hizo sonreí­r... durante largo tiempo :D y desear tenerlo impreso en una camiseta.

Por si no se aprecia bien, es una hoja de un supuesto examen de la facultad de Filosofí­a de... no se ve bien qué universidad.

La pregunta única es: ¿Qué es el riesgo?

La respuesta es: El riesgo es esto

...y el resto de la hoja en blanco, y firmada.

Me recordó los surrealistas exámenes que tenía en Filosofía con José María Valverde. Realmente, llegué a pensar que el publicista pudo haber sido alumno suyo. Porque no he tenido exámenes conceptuales de este estilo con otros profesores/especialidades...

Añoro escuchar a Valverde. Fue un placer, un privilegio, asistir a sus clases/experiencias poéticas/reflexiones en voz alta... poder compartir horas y horas con un auténtico sabio.

...Un motivo más para agradecer a Four Roses ;)

Iggy Smith

One of the photos I took last week or so, late at night, listening to Iggy Pop, sleepless... Mary-Anne says I'm a mixture between Patti Smith & Iggy Pop on it, always knows how to make me smile ;)

Obssessive? Moi???

• Just because I have a loop on Candy on my CD? hey, while I was having my coffee, at the terrace, I had it on a loop for 5 7 rounds, then let it glide onto the next song ;) ?
• Just because I spent 40 minutes listening to Iggy -mainly Candy, remember?- while watching this great big bug, I think it was a grasshopper though it looked like a locust to me, playing on a chair two tables away from me, and wondering how no-one else noticed. it was :H:U:G:E: ...and as stubborn as me, climbing up on the top of the plastic chair, and slipping down again time and time again?
• Just because I am so keen on coincidences and chance I make my life so much harder by not taking people's phone numbers but dropping by their Moe's Bars to see if they happen to be there?
• Just because I check and double-check my friends' blogs in case they have written anything while I was away? -Hi, Mary Anne ;) -AAAAaaahhhhhh, Jack Nickolson in As Good As It Gets...
• Just because I miss not being able to loop a couple of lines in a song, instead of a whole song?

Yeah, well it hurt me real bad
When you left
I'm glad you got out
But I miss you
I've had a hole in my heart for so long
I've learned to fake it and just smile along
Down on the street
Those men are all the same
I need a love
Not games
Not games

• Because I am stoooooooopid enough to be thinking of You Know Who, after all, and missing those crazy, obssessive, passionate, lunatic days? Even when I know I shall should shall never ever give him yet another chance, I miss how it used to be, how it used to feel. And I guess I'm projecting my hopes and fears onto someone else, who may not be at all in that division. Who knows.
  

bares, qué lugares...

Si no veis bien lo que está escrito en la pizarra, pinchad para verlo mayor.

Es el consabido listado de chupitos demenciales, en un bar del Carmelo (si seguís ambos blogs desde hace tiempo, ya sabéis de qué va ese barrio, y mi relación con él)...

Vale que el frankfurt en este bar valga un euro, y bocata salchichón más birra dos euros, pero ya empezamos engañando cuando te fías y pides tapas (a precios normales y raciones mínimas), y tanto Eva como yo nos juramos no tomar nunca un chupito de Éstos (Putero, Pollazo, Desvirgador, Pedo, Sudor de vaca... ¡Por Dios! ¿dónde quedaron las fantasías pseudo-exóticas?)

What a night...

Last night I was supposed to teen-sit and look after Eva's daughter, who has crashed Eva's bike when she sneaked out with the keys to meet her boyfriend and go for a ride, while Eva was sleeping. Neither her nor the bf have the legal age nor the licence to ride that bike. Now she has a sprained leg, he has a fucked up knee, and Eva has a fucked up bike, that she can't even claim to the insurance as it was crashed by two teenagers, before Eva could even use it legally -she was waiting for October 19th, when the law changes and you can use a medium-sized bike with your car licence.

I was staying overnight just because she wasn't feeling too well, and Eva had a date. Which was a disaster. She left saying she'd phone next day to see if she'd come for lunch, yet by 2 a.m. she phoned to say she as already on her own, and on her way back.

I'd warned her. She'd got too excited with this new guy, after one night, and she said it was going to be great because she already knew him as an acquaintance of her ex's, and they'd been soooo well together... So when he phoned, to meet last night, of course I stayed at her place for her to go... but with a warning: don't expect too much!!! It seems I was right. They met, had a drink with some friends of his, he said she was great, but he was buying a house in another town with a girl, and was leaving the next day. So he was supposed to meet some other friends last night, to have the last drink, among which was a girl he was secretly in love with.

So they all left, she then found out they hadn't even paid for their beers, and she came home. To find her daughter laughing, explaining her adventure to her teenager friends -she'd told me it was ok for visits, there were about 4-5 kids here when she came back.

The rest of the night, after a big row with her daughter, was spent in going over and over her problems with men, her eagerness to find a love in the first guy who smiles at her, how she must keep her cool... And going over and over her problems with her daughter...

'I really hope that, well, that you get to do it better, or that Hugo is an easier teen... but I really hope you don't have to go through this. I just can't cope with her. I love her, really, and she isn't a bad person, but all she wants to do is hurt, hurt, hurt!'

Am now waiting for her to come back, and we'll go to Park Güell for a walk... guess she's been to catch Roger after taking his pictures of the sunrise.

By the way... anyone still out of gmail?

Got some invites left, and not enough friends imterested in new accounts. Not enough semi-nerds, anyway, either computer wizards, or computer illiterates! :P

So, if anyone still wants an account, tell me ;D

El romanticismo nunca muere: Mi Gran Cita - Historia de Eva

Antecedentes: Eva salió el viernes, estuvo desaparecida prácticamente todo el sábado, y apareció con una sonrisa de oreja a oreja y preguntando 'Los okupas, son muy promiscuos, ¿no?'

Artista Invitado Eva, dedicado a Áurea:

Eres encantadora, ¡va!. No me he enterado de la misa la mitad, pero sí que me he enterado de algo muy importante, que eres una amiga, y que me parece muy pobre lo que digo. Pero quizá bajo un poco de efectos, para qué te voy a engañar. ¡Gracias por estar ahí!

Porque te conozco, ¿no?, porque nos compenetramos... pero hay un punto muy duro en tí... como de despertarnos, ¿no?, que es lo que es en el fondo una amistad.

Bueno, al final he conseguido lo que quería, que es no llegar aquí llorando como una magdalena.

Eva

(La historia completa, en el blog de Eva)

Mobiles & Anthems

Always find it weird when people have footbal club anthems on their mobiles, but even worse when it's the Spanish National Anthem -wwwwwwwwoooooooooooohhhhhhooooo!!! usually skinheads and similar- and the Catalan National Anthem, Els Segadors -as the guy next to me at the cyber right now.

Of course, i've gone mad at first for not finding the same The Cure song(Boys don't cry) for my mobile as on my last one, then beamed as I got used to this one (Close to me). Both make good phone tunes. Some songs sound terrible ason teh phone.

Bon Cop De Falç.

Need a job

On Friday I went to buy a present for Hugo's friend, gave in and bought a new toy for Hugo too, and walked out of the shop with 4 euro. Bank, let the card get me some money.

You have 7.56 euro

So. No money for the weekend. No money until Monday, at least. Unless we got in time to our lawyer, and pray we could cash the check on Saturday morning -being a legal matter, sometimes there are restrictions.

Also, had a date :P on Saturday, after Hugo's friend's birthday party. So I needed some cash to get me over that, get a few beers so as not to seem I take for granted men pay for everything. We'd already agreed to only have a few beers, no dinner out or disco to avoid expenses...

I guess I must have received the dole money now. But that won't cover mortgage, Hugo's school expenses, phone bills, etc -this month it was paid out of what I had left, next moth I'll have nothing by the time bills turn up.

Must shake myself up and make some decisions. So far, am pinned, am feeling useless, am not sure which way to take my first step. Too much time to think. Too little action. Must change my frame of mind immediately, before I touch rock bottom -my dear old place.

Guess so much time online isn't that good, either. Am checking jobs, of course, and have had many interesting interviews thanks to Infojobs' listings of jobs. Am really satisfied with how InfoJobs works. And the companies that use it are quite god ones, major companies, and local but serious.

But of course... online means also chatting, surfing -today's time-wasters were:The Crossroads - Pulp Phantom, Pulp fiction meets Starwars :P · Jeff Bridges.com, his hand-written blog! O_O · Exactitudes ...so beautiful, so unsettling?: A good project · Fool's World Map ...how I relate, after so many embarrassing questions from co-workers, such as 'Italy is in Europe, right?'- we're in Spain, and that company worked daily with Italy, just accross our coast!!!

Should I list the interesting job ads today? Ok: .

Yes, you got it ;)

Toooo much time to think

Am going oooover and ooooover stuff in my mind. Non-stop. While watching tv. While at a meeting. While being interviewed for the nth time for a lousy job I end up turning down. While being interviewed for the nth time for a great looking job I get to the last 6 or 7 applicants, then get beaten by someone either younger, or prettier or...admit it: more efficient!

While reading. While talking to people. While chetting. While trying to sleep. While crossing roads. While commuting. While writing this.

What is it that's bugging me so?

1. Work. Or lack of. I really must get a job soon, but it has to be worth leaving the dole -I mean, not gonna accept less wage than my previous job, as I am already deep in debt!
2. Work. A.k.a.: What Do I Really Want To Do? spend the rest of my life like this? Breath in deep and jump yet into another stream? Am I gonna be able to, at this age? Am already put down at many places because am too old to be young :P
3. Money. Spent all the loan from the bank, now have to pay for that loan plus everything else just with my dole money. Not possible.
4. What to do?. Should I study something while not working? I really want to take up some courses, but see they are not going to be useful, plus they'd mean I'll have to pay extra at Hugo's school, to be able to get there in time. The free courses I found are not of much help, basic Windows office -Word, Excel, Access- and no Powerpoint, SAP, whatever people ask for on the ads and I ignore. English courses per thousands, only two French courses, and at a bad time/location for me to attend -and, anyway, they already started.
5. What to do?. Should I take up Theatre classes, as been offered to atend for free to the course/workshop a man I hardly know teaches once a week? Should I try? Have been told I can take my son with me. Am thinking I'll go talk to him tomorrow -have no phone number, and since we spoke last week I've been ill... But am worried they end too late for Hugo -homework, school... Should give it a try!
6. What to do?. Should I look for a few students, and get some extra cash teaching English again? But then, what if I find a job, and have to drop them? Have always had moral problems about comitting to something you know you can't end -but most people just take that for granted, and skip along. Should I see if I can get some work at the Adult School in the same terms, drop them if I get something better? Jeeeeesus, I'd hate doing that. But then, who knows how long it will take me to get a job?
7. What to do?. Stop looking for a good job, and take any little shit? but am being paid 750 euro aprox. now, and most shitty jobs pay less than that.
8. Should I dare? Should I try and chase Him again? should I seek the chance to talk, really, properly, and find out what's in His mind?
9. Should I make a big move? Blow it all, sell the house, move somewhere else? Dare I? Can I really leve everything/everyone behind? Don't really think I can right now.
10. Why am I so scared, suddenly, where did I lose my guts? Why am I leetting myself cower away, hide from problems, instead of flowing through them? Why am I stepping on the break instead of following my passion, my intuitions, letting my feet guide the way as usual?
11. Why do I feel so scared of going into a new stormy, passionate, absorbing, head-spinning relationship? Even before finding out if there's a chance? Why am I so sure it will tear me apart the way I was once torn? Shred me into tiny pieces, and take years to heal again? I haven't even started, yet am so damn sure it would be like that... based on nothing else than a feeling deep inside...

This introspective mood is causing trouble, too. Am floating through life, not seeing much of what's surrounding me. Am pissing people off when they see I'm obssessively going on and on in a vortex of inactivity. Am too self-centred, they think. Am too prone to reflection, hiding from action, they think. And when I say I have also been thinking over that, they get pissed off!!!

Man, do I need a job!

Tonight's remedy

Less than an hour after posting the previous entry, my lawyer phoned me. The only thing he deals with is the subject with Bernard, his breaking into my flat, order to keep away from me, loss of rights over Hugo, and all the relevant paperwork implied with this. He was assigned to me the day I was attacked, and since has been really supportive, though I don't think he is too experienced -well, it's the feeling I have with him. Some times during the many meetings we had with judges, officials, etc he was shakier than me, specially when we didn't know if B would also turn up!

I was sweating the moment I realized who it was, thinking 'Now what???!!!' . As a flash, I had many possibilities in my mind jumping and mixing... until he said I could pass by his office to collect 60 euro as part of the compensation for the expenses of mending my front door and replacing all the windows. Can't remember how much we'd estimated in the end, with invoices in hand, but I remember it was something around 200 euro or so. I also remember not asking for any further -moral, etc.- compensation, and there was about 100 euro he had to pay to Joan, for injuring his arm too... the rest is all his fine, as he didn't go to prison for being a first offence(?).

So on my way back from Eva's to get Hugo, I was in a foul mood again. Shit, going through stuff, mind racing... with Hugo I passed by Alberto's bar, had a chat with him and a whiskey & Red Bull to calm me down... and as we got home I chose a selection of 'mood music' that ended up being Lene Lovich, Iggy Pop, Jane's Adiction and Nina Hagen. Comfort remembering those old days, just before and during my relationship with B, when I used to listen to them. And reminding myself he's part of my life, and I have learnt a lot from and through him. But trying to stick to the good parts last night, so I could stop my visions of his distorted, mad face shouting he had only just started...

Know what? it worked. Couldn't sleep 'till about 3:30 am, but woke up ok again. Guess I'll be down later on, when visiting the lawyer this evening... but that's another story. Am in fact listening to Iggy now, as I'm writing. Candy... ah, that song. It was released on the year I met Bernard, and at first I just loved the song. Then, during years, it has felt so close... The part with the female voice made me cry last night -the first time I listened to it. Admit. Played it about 4 or 5 times. playing it now for third time on my discman. Ssshhhh! I'm healing...

Big Mouth Strikes Again

Been to a Parents' meeting at Hugo's school.

Couldn't keep my big mouth shut, so when they started moaning about always being more or less the same people at the meetings and helping with activities, I said I was only able to attend 'coz I was out of work, but had mentioned many times before at their office that they could try having some of their meetings on weekends. No, of course not, no-one wants to spoil their week-ends to attend. Well, I had been working for the last 4 years from 9 am till 6:30 or 7 pm -and a year and a half it wasn't even in the same city as the school is! And just as me, many parents work at shops -open till 8 or later- or offices, etc also till late hours. So meetings on weekdays, at 6 pm, are not necessarily convenient to everyone.

So, after pulling faces at every other word the president spoke, as he defended no-one would go on a week-end, and that it is only these Holier Than Thou people who would help anyway, I only just had to offer help while looking for work. Which I already had done, at their office, but to some other members of the association.



Result? Can I just be quiet and help at one little thing, focus on my jobhunting and helping Eva out?... No, of course not. I'm not sure if it's a result of my recent migraine or what, but I ended taking up four hours a week until I get a job, Tuesdays and Thursdays, at their office, plus dealing with their e-mails and mailing lists, plus help at the next couple of parties and events at the school. Ta-daaa!!! Just like when I was so involved at Hugo's nursery... but without the financial help I was having back then, when Bernard still helped out... so i could deal with helping around and not just WORK, WORK, WORK!



Anyway... sweet side? finally got to see a face I was craving for ;)

Dedicated To The Men I (Learnt Not To) Love

Just for those who were worried about my moods lately, and my admitting I'd even been missing, almost needing to get in touch again with that junkie, after a systematic emptying of my mind during my migrain, I can now say this:

God, do I agree, Bernard! 

...AND THIS ONE TO THE ONES I DO LOVE!


Explain this to Nate, please

Migraine again

Definition

migraine [Show phonetics]
noun [C or U]

severe continuous pain in the head, often with vomiting and difficulty in seeing:

Do you suffer from migraine?
Considering the amount of stress she's under, it's not surprising she keeps getting migraines.
a migraine headache

(from Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary)

Yes, I suffer from migraine. I can be months without it, then BANG it comes again. Been over three days now, hardly eating, head is useless... yesterday I tried to have a coffe on my way to Hugo's school, and had to run out of the bar to throw it up in the street -metro bars: no toilets :(

Today i have been quite bad, after a slight improvement last night. Now i'm a bit better -just enough to get at the cyber and send a Word cv for my interview tomorrow. Didn't help much to receive a phonecall this afternoon, that the flashy job I'd been interviewed for last week, really a good chance to start getting the kind of responsability and salary I deserve, hasn't come through because, as the girl put it, 'the boss wanted to see younger secretaries first, I think you were the best applicant, so i'll keep your cv for future ocasions and call me for any question you may have'. Holy shit!!! This time it seemd experience was gonna be more important than a young, pretty face, as it was a really tough job, with loads of responsability... Fuck'em all!

--------

p.s. i: can't believe Dani is still sending me loads of sms trying to spend a night with me, after so many times I said no!!!

p.s. ii: this morning, as I tore my eyes open through my migraine, i found an sms sent at 1:58 a.m., from an unknown number, saying 'Te quiero. Quiero estar contigo. Déjame quererte' Fucking hell, i thought 'Who can this be????' I knew it wouldn't be Him, as I don't think he kept my number. So i asked '¿quién eres?'
reply, immediate: 'Por favor, dejame quererte'. Again, '¿quién eres?' and i found out who it was. A guy I had a drink with one afternoon, about a month ago, and gave him my number as we had been talking about some festival coming up, in case he fancied going and didn't know the schedules. So I had to send a few times 'Lo siento, pero no. Gracias.' and similar, as he kept insisting in meeting and proving me his love (?). Not going to have another Dani, for sure!!!

How am I supposed to deal with this in the middle of migraine???

Fira del Llibre-II

God! Am a bookoholic, always have been, but sometimes my B:A: sessions seem to work better than others!


And in case it ain't enough with the books I have at home, waiting to be read, and the ones I've already thought of re-reading, I have been buying quite a load of them lately, reduced prices and little treasures...



On this same blog I've been talking about the load of books I bought before Hugo came back, and then at my B-tracks I spoke about the ones I got last weekend at the Fira del Llibre, now I passed by again and bought some Unamuno essays I hadn't read yet for only 1.80 euro, an Elmore Leonard -in Spanish, though :(- I hadn't read yet for 2 euro, and Infernaliana , by Charles Nodier , in French also for 2 euro!



Am logging off, to get back home and read a bit ;)

Bitter breakfast

As I so often commented at O.K.,O.K.!, I am very influenced by emotions, very psichosomatic, very easily driven to tears and/or laughter, grin at people when they talk to me, breath in air before replyong when am upset by something... I can quite control this when at work, as I then hide most of my true personality and act in an 'office-girl' mode about an 80% of the time. But inside I'm still holdinggrudges on people for things they did to me in my dreams, and trying to sort out what was oniric and what was 'real'.

This morning I felt weak taking hugo to school after all our excitement with the heart-shaped potato last night * a night of dropping asleep on the couch at 10 pm and waking up many times, sleepless and agitated.
So I left Hugo at school and went for a proper breakfast, buying the paper on my way and deciding today I'd take it easy a bit before going up to Eva's place... And I saw this front picture, read the article on Bagdad's latest horrors... and cried into my coffee.

Stupid, Ridiculous Occidental White Woman who instead of doing something towards helping the population in Bagdad is simply crying into her café con leche. So I saw myself and made myself stop. Made myself phone Eva o say I'd be late, took this picture to remind myself how often I cry over the news, but am not involved in any NGOs -though I do help sometimes, by giving English classses to NGO workers, atend public acts...- and made myself finish my breakfast.

STUPID, USELESS, RIDICULOUS OCCIDENTAL WHITE WOMAN!!!-But did I chose being born inEurope? Would I change it? Aren't I doing my own stuff helping people I know, going with them to find out about paperwork needed to legalize their situation...?

THINK GLOBALLY, ACT LOCALLY. As in recycling, as in so many other things.

Damn it, how stupid I feel today!


________

*The Potato Experience:

Was peeling potatoes last night, and found this heart among them!!! I ran to my son, to show him it, and there we were, both of us grinning at the potato -Hugo wanted me to split it in half once cooked, but I was actually preparing mashed potatoes... Even our cat came round to see what all the excitement was about!!!

Modern Potato -Homage to Rimbaud ;-)