12.9.04

Winner? Loser?

I've heard gossip says Joan is not too well with his gf. Guessed so too, by our conversations.

Over a week ago I was with him. Went out and ended sleeping together, no sex, lots of love, lots of laughter, lots of intimacy.

After, as usual in him, he had a spree of phoning, sms-ing, keeping in touch and feeling he needed me. But as he couldn't admit, though we'd been talking it over, he was always sending the messages just too late, or not quite sure whether to meet or not.

This Friday he turned up at Magic.

'Twas our aniversary -11th sept. 2001, as the world was shocked in horror, we were discovering each other from sept. 10th till 12th. The 11th is a national holiday in Catalonia, and it was the first time we'd spend more than 24 hours together. I'd thought of sending him an sms to eat together on Saturday, or do something... but then he turned up at the disco, came rushing up to me happy to see me, and said 'I knew I'd catch you here!!'... just to see I was with another guy, Miquel. So we talked a bit, and then Miquel asked me if we could leave. So I left Joan there.

At 9 in the morning I received some sms from him, with his typical jokes. So he hadn't slept yet.

No further news.

In a way, it serves him right for how he used to hang out and have affaires while we were together, I always let him do what he wanted but didn't cheat on him. Now he sees how it feels to be disappointed, to feel alone.

Rumours that reached my ears say some of his friends are thinking he might want to come back to me.

Don't think I want to have such an intense story with him again. But maybe my way, this time. I'd had the feeling it may happen like this. And it would be my way.

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